Monday November 24, 2014


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Expressing emotion


Even though they haven't been together for almost 40 years, The Beatles are still one of the highest selling bands in the world.

I remember The Beatles released a song in the '60s called, I Wanna Hold Your Hand – or at least that's how they sang it. Very clear lyrics with a very simple message: "I love ya and I wanna hold your hand".

For a guy, I tend to display emotion more than a lot of guys. My son says, "Okay, I've got two moms; a mom and a mom-dad!" For many guys, showing emotions in public, or maybe even at home, ranks right up there with flower arranging, watching chic-flics like The Notebook (I know, I liked that too), wearing red paisley pajamas – mine are blue – and "Will you hold my purse for a minute?"

As young boys, we are told not to cry, to be tough, to play aggressive sports, to not be a baby, to suck it up, to play with dolls that carry grenades and lots of spare ammo, to be a man, and a host of stereotypical reams of well-intentioned but sometimes misguided advice.

Then we grow up, get into a long-term relationship, and without expecting or asking for it, we're required to reveal our deepest emotions to our partner; to express ourselves in loving, and even romantic ways. Houston we have a problem. Or do we?

For some of us guys, showing emotions in public or verbally expressing them in private to our partner is easy, and for some extremely hard – depending on our upbringing.

Some couples are comfortable with who they are and don't feel a need to hold hands or show signs of affection in public; and some, like us, want to and often do. That's a decision you both need to make, and makes no difference to your relationship, as long as you're both happy with whatever you decide.

However, you both need to verbally express your emotions to each other in private. Your relationship demands it. Without that ability your relationship will struggle.

Start small. Start by talking about your childhood, your memories, both good and bad. And, while one of you is sharing, the other's task is easy. Just listen. Try it.



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