Friday October 31, 2014

QUESTION OF THE WEEK

  • Should security be tightened at Parliament Hill and other government buildings in the wake of the shootings in Ottawa?
  • Yes
  • 79%
  • No
  • 21%




A never-ending topic

Comments

Although we’ve written on communication countless times over the years – maybe because it’s such a huge topic – there always seems to be issues that surface in our relationship that William and I need to work on.

One of those issues I was very evidently made aware of recently was the many tactics I use to shut down communication in our relationship when I decide I don’t want the conversation to continue. I use many excuses and blaming tactics to defend why I shut down the conversation, but faced with the truth, I still shut it down.

I tend to shut down and walk away from a conversation when it heats up, or I’ll dig something up from our past and throw it back in William’s face. I’ll tell him he is being unreasonable and making a big deal out of nothing, or I’ll just stand there and let him say his piece, and when he is done, I’ll just say "Alrighty then," and walk away.

I’m sure William could write a few more in here but I’ll stop now. I think I’ve made my point.

When I use this form of control to shut down a conversation about an issue I don’t want to discuss, I am saying to my William that what he is trying to communicate is not something I value, or want to deal with. I walk away from it; maybe it will just go away.

I often tell myself that our relationship is good enough; that we don’t need to keep digging deeper to fix more. We’ve been together for 27 years. We’re happy. Why can’t we just keep everything as is?

However, the truth is that you need to continually work on your relationship to make it and keep it great. When you work on the little things, you don’t end up with big issues.

As for me occasionally shutting down conversations with William, I don’t have the perfect answer for this. I am still working on myself. Being aware of it and being aware of what I am doing is always the first step.

Although we have come a long way in developing our communication, like many couples, we still have things we need to work on. We don’t ever want to say, “It’s good enough.”


Comments

Comments


NOTE: To post a comment in the new commenting system you must have an account with at least one of the following services: Disqus, Facebook, Twitter, Yahoo, OpenID. You may then login using your account credentials for that service. If you do not already have an account you may register a new profile with Disqus by first clicking the "Post as" button and then the link: "Don't have one? Register a new profile".

The Estevan Lifestyles welcomes your opinions and comments. We do not allow personal attacks, offensive language or unsubstantiated allegations. We reserve the right to edit comments for length, style, legality and taste and reproduce them in print, electronic or otherwise. For further information, please contact the editor or publisher, or see our Terms and Conditions.

blog comments powered by Disqus



About Us | Advertise | Contact Us | Sitemap / RSS   Glacier Community Media: www.glaciermedia.ca    © Copyright 2014 Glacier Community Media | User Agreement & Privacy Policy

LOG IN



Lost your password?