Parenting is easily one of the hardest things in the world to do. Ask anyone who is a parent.
For something that comes “naturally” to some, it can be almost a nightmare to others.
One of our readers was asking why her children didn’t seem to turn out the way she envisioned, even though she worked hard at her parenting.
The truth of the matter is that we are all imperfect. We are imperfect people, who become imperfect partners, who become imperfect parents, with imperfect children. It’s not a put-down; it’s a fact of all life. But, it is through our imperfections that we grow.
We are not all created equal. We are created unique. We think, we breathe, we live, and we love, not only our partner, but our children uniquely, based on our unique life story. This is how we see the world, how we base our decisions, and how we use those decisions to live our lives, love our partners, and raise our children.
If you had a rosy upbringing, you may see the world through rose-colored glasses. It all looks good. If you had a questionable or “not normal” childhood, you may see the world through dark sunglasses. Even though you try your best, as a partner, and a parent, you are still basing your life and parenting decisions from your own past experiences.
To be a loving parent is awesome. To be a loving and “effective” parent is even better. To be an effective parent, though, you need to lose the shades, whether they are rosy or dark, and put on clear vision glasses. You need to see through clarity.
To be a better parent, or a better partner, you need to first be a better person. You need to spend time making sure you are seeing with a clearer vision by bringing out the real you.
Your partner deserves the real you. Your children deserve the real you. And you deserve the real you.
As far as how your children turn out, well, they also have their own unique personalities and make their own decisions for their lives. But, working at being the real you, by removing all the masks that cloud your decision-making abilities, will help you truly be the best parent and partner you can possibly be.