The truth is, there’s actually nothing wrong with having your own individual friend, rather than just other couples whose friendship you and your partner share.
It can be healthy as long as it doesn’t negatively affect your relationship. Are your friends supportive of your partner or are they possessive of you? Are you okay with your partner having friends other than you, or are you almost totally possessive?
The key is to be sensitive and aware.
In the early part of our relationship, I used to be totally possessive of Edrina. I couldn’t understand why she would even want to go out with friends when she had me. Wasn’t I the one she chose to spend her entire life with? Wasn’t I her ultimate friend?
To me, her wanting to spend time with her friends translated to her not wanting to spend time with me. Or, at least that’s how I saw it. I would get jealous.
What were they doing? Were they really where they said they were? If she loved me more than them, then why would she want to spend time with them? Wasn’t I enough for her?
Truth be known? No, I wasn’t. It wasn’t until I got myself straightened around through some good counseling, and worked on my insecurities, that I realized Edrina loved being with people. Period.
She was a social butterfly who regained her energy by being with lots of people. I was the complete opposite. I liked being with people but I regained my strength by being by myself, watching a movie, reading a book or working on the computer. Give me a quiet corner anytime.
There’s no one else in the world I’d rather be with than Edrina, and she is the same for me. Yet having our own friends is important.
It’s healthy to have friends outside your relationship as long as it complements your relationship. Concern about your partner’s friends and their influence may be one thing, and needs to be discussed, but possessiveness of your partner is another one altogether. Stay healthy.