Have you ever had one of your kids walk into the room while you’re having an argument with your partner, innocently ask for something, and you just blast them and tell them to get to their room?
This was me, and I have since had to apologize to one of my daughters for what I did to her.
When William and I were going through the toughest time in our marriage, I was on edge much of the time. I often felt the need to protect myself mentally from my environment, because of certain behaviors, and one of the ways I did this was to find an easy target.
As adults, who do we see as the easiest targets? Yes, that’s right; it is usually our younger children. They love us no matter what and will forgive us the minute we ask. But those children with a sensitive spirit may still hold onto that and take it to heart.
I remember one of our daughters crying hysterically every time we fought and the bigger the fight the more upset she would get. I would be so frustrated with my own situation, that in my mind, the last thing I needed was to deal with her and my guilt for making her so upset. So I would lash out at her and tell her to get to her room and quit crying.
What a horrible thing to do to a little girl just to protect myself. It wasn’t any of our children’s fault we were having trouble in our marriage, and certainly not their fault for just being there when things were heating up.
Every child reacts uniquely to their home environment and it is so important as parents to be sensitive to their needs. Your children do not owe you anything and you are responsible for all of their needs not just their physical needs.
Each of your children may have similar yet unique mental, physical and spiritual needs. It is your responsibility, as a parent, to recognize those needs and respond to them in a manner that will build your child up.
Are you using your children as an easy target when you are angry or upset? Try putting yourself in their shoes before you react.
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