What if we told you that way back, before your first memory; before you were even born; before you were even conceived; in fact before even your grandparents or their grandparents were conceived, your blood line was putting together a whole bunch of "hand-me-downs" (HMD’s) for you.
These weren’t those really cool physical heirlooms you proudly display and boldly claim to have been in your family for generations.
No, these are the HMD's that seem to control your temperament, or your temper, or your attitudes in life, how you view others, whether you're a blamer or a fixer, a control freak or a passive people pleaser, whether you feel the world belongs to you or owes you something, or even that you're totally unworthy of anything.
These HMD's seem to dictate your mood, your habits, the way you raise your kids, or deal with life. They even seem to affect the way you deal with your relationship, your partner, your love life, and the most important life-changing decisions you will make.
We say "seem" because while you don't seem to have a choice in these areas, maybe telling yourself that you are hard-wired that way, or something similar, the truth is that you always have a choice. You can choose to stay the same if you like what you see in yourself, or change if you don’t.
Negative HMD's are something you probably accepted as child. Things like, "Don't trust men," "Always have a perfectly clean house," "God only helps those who help themselves," (not actually in the Bible, by the way), "you're not that good looking," "your sibling's more important," and a host of other totally dysfunctional and misguided things. It may even be something you saw rather than heard.
My late mother always used to tell me that God was a loving God, but her HMD parenting style taught me that love had to be earned and that it was conditional. A contradiction from what she actual would say about God. Maybe she desperately wanted to believe it but the dysfunctional HMD's she received in her childhood caused her to doubt that love for her.
The result from her parenting style HMD was that not only did I truly not believe I was loveable, but that I had to pay a price for people to love me. So, I became a people pleaser. I also made it that other people also had to pay a price to love me. I did this through mind games and manipulation.
What HMD’s are you using or handing down in your life?
Contact William or Edrina at: http://www.AliveInLove.com/