I remember the days when Edrina and I were recruited into the multilevel marketing industry, selling dish soap, laundry detergent, and the “American Dream.” One thing I remember most from that period of our life were these words from one of the many conferences we attended, “If you wait until all the traffic lights on a busy city street turn green before you move ahead, you’ll never move.” When I lived in Toronto, one street could easily have upwards of 75 traffic lights on it!
Your relationship is filled with traffic lights; signals telling you how to proceed or where you’re at in your relationship. The thing about traffic lights is that they only occur at intersections, where a decision has to be made: left, right, or straight ahead.
The Red Light: Stop. Something has happened. Your trust has been seriously broken. Maybe you’re even scared or fearful. You’ve been hurt and you don’t know if you even want to proceed because it may happen again. You put up walls, block things out, stuff things down. You need someone you can trust, to help you move forward.
The Amber Light: Proceed with caution. You’re more willing to move ahead in your relationship but you proceed with caution. This could be anything from getting back together after a separation, to starting over after a serious, almost relationship-altering argument or incident.
Edrina and I have experienced the Amber Light often in our relationship. Big arguments, name calling, blaming, control issues, mind games, etc. We chose to move forward, got back on track, but moved slowly and cautiously.
The Green Light: Green is for Go Baby! Full steam ahead. You navigate the twists and turns of life, the petty arguments and the usual living-a-full-life-together kind of stuff, but you enjoy the scenery as you go. You see the road ahead and, for the most part, it looks great. This is where Edrina and I are at now.
The lights may not always be green when you reach them, but as you both continue to work on your relationship, they’ll be all greens behind you and more and more greens up ahead.
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