The World Cup of Soccer is nearing its conclusion. The playoffs are underway. Top teams like France, Italy, England and Mexico have been eliminated. Thankfully, the U.S. is out, too.

My reaction is simple: it can't end soon enough.

I'm well aware that soccer (or football, as it is called on many continents) is the world's most popular sport. So to all the soccer fans out there, when you send in your hate mail, don't begin your ode to the sport with a breakdown of its popularity.

Soccer is king in most countries in Europe, Asia, South America and Africa. (Keep in mind that many people in those countries also enjoy cricket, the most boring and time-consuming sport ever conceived).

People who get annoyed by the intense popularity of hockey in Canada probably wouldn't enjoy the company of soccer fans, either. Many of those fans are even more devoted and more fervent in their support for their teams – whether they are club or national teams – than Canadians are for hockey teams. (Yes, there are fans even more zealous than those Montreal Canadiens fans who riot following a first round playoff series victory).

I've played some soccer, most of it at the recreational level. It's a fun sport to play. And I have enjoyed watching indoor soccer, although many soccer fans would argue that indoor soccer is an illegitimate version of “The Beautiful Game.”

It's a great game for children, as players are generally in non-stop motion. But outdoor professional soccer is not an enjoyable spectator sport, and it's boring on television.

When the World Cup of Soccer is on, I reach for one of three things: the remote control, caffeine pills or a pillow.

Most of the game is played in the perimeter areas, or in the midfield. Shots on goal are rare. A 2-1 game is high-scoring. A three-goal or a four-goal game is an offensive outburst. Blame the massive size of the playing surface. And if a player gets brushed by an opponent, he often fakes an injury, with a display of acting that would make Pauly Shore proud.

I might have a little more interest in the World Cup if Canada was entered. I might watch for a few minutes, but I wouldn't go out of my way to watch Canada battle North Korea, or some other also-ran, to a 0-0 tie in one of the tournament's opening games. And I probably wouldn't watch Canada get blown out 3-0 by Brazil.

But relief is coming. Football season has arrived. Canadian football, that is. That's my kind of football. This form of football has a little more offence, and the players don't fake injuries once they are hit.